Dealing with commitment issues, one word at a time

Illustration by CAPS Graphic Designer Wendy Ordonez

Nick Scheidt/Columnist

Dear Nick,

How can I deal with a guy who is scared of commitment words like “boyfriend,” but obviously wants to date me?

V.H., Junior, Biology Major

Dear V.H.,

We live in a fast-paced world where we are constantly asked to place labels, make commitments and “seal the deal.” Many people use words like: dating, going steady, hanging out, going out, getting serious, boyfriend, partner and husband. These labels help us to make sense of our world and allow us to understand where we fit into the dating equation. You might want to consider starting to date your man without labels or expectations and get to know him on a friend level. Many times this takes the pressure off defining the relationship and allows you to get to know each other as people. Many people define relationships in different ways. Once you and him have been “dating” or “hanging out” for some time, you may want to ask what you will use to define your interaction or how to introduce him to your friends. His aversion to labeling may not be his avoidance of commitment; it may just be his feeling that the label doesn’t mean anything. Good luck with your relationship and enjoy each moment as you experience it!

Be Well,

Nick

nick.scheidt@fiusm.com