Manners in a foreign language

Photo by youleah, via flickr 

Giselle Berman/Staff Writer 

I am an immigrant. I am also trilingual. However, if you come up to me assuming I speak Spanish, I’ll pretend I don’t understand and I won’t help you – I find it rude.

Hear me out. According to an article from the Huffington Post, 60 percent of Miami-Dade County is Hispanic nowadays. That’s great because it makes it easier to keep that culture and language alive in another country – but they’re still in another country. In the 1950s, more than 80 percent of Miami-Dade was made up of “non-Hispanic whites.” Even here, at the University, we’ve seen the reality of these statistics.

I find no energy to have sympathy for those who are rude. You don’t have to know English in order to speak to me. I’d gladly work with an, “¿Hablas espanol?” from a kind face. I constantly get a, “Voce e brasileira?” at work. This is actually exciting because I get to practice my other two languages. I’ll try my hardest to accommodate you.

However, I moved here at five years of age and was thrown into kindergarten in order to learn English. My parents were in their forties and learned English. How do you expect to be an active member of society if you can’t communicate with said society?

I should probably affirm that I’ve never had Portuguese speakers come up to me and speak Portuguese without a thought unless they are my returning customers at the restaurant. Nor have I had a problem with any other languages. On the other hand, I’ve had so many people blurt some Spanish tongue-rolls at me as if we’re in South America, both in and out of work, that I couldn’t count if I wanted to. It’s not that I’m attacking a certain group; this is just my personal experience and interpretation.

I’m pretty sure that if I spoke in a foreign language to strangers, all I’d get is strange looks and maybe a few rude remarks.

Of course you can retain your customs at home and teach them to your community. Be proud of where you come from; I know I am. But you want the people around you from other cultures to accept you, right? That would involve having manners and that means asking before assuming what language they speak.

Whether you want to order a meal or ask for directions, you’re asking something of me and you should do so respectfully. I don’t have to help you. I’m taking a moment out of my time to do so.

Trust me, you can have manners in a foreign language. Otherwise, I will stare at you and listen until you’re done speaking and then get someone else to take your order.

I don’t think that’s a rude reaction either. If you’re not going to respect me through some basic manners, I’m not going to take it upon myself to serve you. I shouldn’t be expected to understand you if you’re speaking a foreign language at me.

All I ask is for that consideration and I’ll have some for you.

giselle.berman@fiusm.com 

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