Don’t feel inclined to define yourself

Photo by: Dominic Sayers, Via Flickr

Ian Vazquez/Contributing Writer

There are many times in your life where someone will ask you to define who you are.

I despise that question.

People have been trying to classify and categorize others for as long as they’ve existed and I have come to the conclusion that the aforementioned question is just another one of those methods.

What does that even mean? “Who are you?” And is anyone ever expected to really know that answer? What’s the criterion for defining “you” or any person? How does that question account for the little differences between everyone?

How do they account for the tiny subtle differences that affect everything from how you wake up in the morning to how you decide whether something is right or wrong.

I know I share the same point of view on a variety of social issues with other people, but it doesn’t mean I’ve reached my conclusions in the same way they have.

What bothers me the most about the question is that it tries to lock you into being somebody. I know that sounds weird, but bear with me.

You know who you are; you’re in your own head, and you know your thoughts: what you love, what you hate. It seems like a joke when it’s asked, but it’s incredibly hard for anyone to answer, and if you can answer it without hesitation, then you might have a problem.

If you start to look at who you are, it seems impossible to really analyze it, because you begin to wonder why. You ask why you think the way you do, why you act the way you do. And I’m willing to bet that if anyone did this, right now even, something in them would change. If you truly look inwards and question yourself, you might find things you want to change, or things you want to adapt to different situations.

Hell, you might find the way you hold forks strongly upsets you.

It doesn’t matter; the point is that you won’t be the same person as you answer “who are you” as you were when you were asked. On the fly, you’ll change some part of “you” to suit the person asking, or the situation the question leads to, or just some personal flaw you didn’t like.

This is why the question is flawed.

You’ll be asked and it encourages you to reject change, and to be you.

But life is change.

By their own standards, no one is perfect, and they will try every day to change themselves, or something they don’t like about themselves, for better or for worse.

And that’s natural! The day you close your mind to change is the day that you block out the beauty of life.

Things always change. Things progress, and so do people. Don’t make the mistake of clinging to some idea of you, that maybe you didn’t even create, but strive to better yourself everyday. You might find you like the changes you make, and the person you become.

A closer would be nice I guess, don’t panic if you can’t describe yourself, or if you don’t know “who you are.”

You aren’t supposed to. 

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