Roary caught in fist fight with Fairground Owner

Photo by Luis Santana

Luis Santana/Opinion Director

While many were riding the Ferris wheel this weekend, our mascot was fighting for our right to expand onto the hallowed fairgrounds. Onlookers reported that during a circus performance, Roary tossed a man into the center ring and proceeded to teach the man the meaning of being “Worlds Ahead.”

One onlooker, Gustavo Fulano, said, “Yo, I didn’t know the mascot of FIU could fight like that! Dale Roary! #canofbuttwhoop.”

Our very own sports journalist Rhys Williams tweeted, “Roary was out there fighting for higher education and it looks like he won!”

I for one am shocked with Roary fighting the owner of the fairgrounds over who deserves the land. While I don’t advocate the violence of the event, I understand why it was done. Roary, our mascot, holds within him every dream and aspiration of the FIU student body. Out there in the circus ring, he was one of us, fighting for an education and the right to expand even more.

While I’d like to be optimistic about the future and think that these fights won’t become common place, that instead we’ll use diplomacy and words to gain access to the grounds, to me this seems to just be one of many altercations that will go on until FIU gains the fairgrounds.

Among the news of the fighting, there have also been whispers of an underground group known as “The Golden Panthers” who support Roary in his fight to get the fairground.

A note was left on a bulletin board in Graham Center that read, “The golden light of Panther pride will shine from one end of the street to the other within the next few years. Whatever must be done, we will be in full support of Roary in all of his endeavors. He is our banner and our guiding star. The fairgrounds will be ours.”

This level of militant support for Roary and the acquisition of the grounds must be answered by the University administration and the current owner of the grounds.

Will we as students allow this much aggression for our futures? Are we going to stand idly by and not try to solve this with peace?

As if there wasn’t enough vying for power, another group, The Rosenberg Revolutionaries, is trying to solve these problems in a diplomatic way.

The Revolutionaries have started picketing outside of the Ronald W. Reagan Presidential House in the hopes that Rosenberg will find a way to solve this problem in a diplomatic way.

The Revolutionaries seem to have the right idea of how to deal with the situation.

I’m of the mindset that, while the fair may be fun for the whole family, the land could be used for classes instead and more access to higher education.

The University needs to keep growing if we expect to become a better learning institution. Let’s just hope that however the cards fall, Roary and the reputation of the University will be alright when this is all over.

Happy April Fools!

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