Loving others is the challenge

Sofia Galiano/ Staff Writer

Spending time alone is good. It is healthy to refrain from interacting with another human being, be it in person or via social media. But what if you enjoy your own company more than anyone else’s? This is my current situation.

I have been spending my summer break alone, doing things that I enjoy: writing, cycling, running, swimming, watching shows, movies, listening to music and eating doughnuts. The more time I spend alone the more in-tune I feel with myself, which is great for a person’s psychology and emotional well-being. Yet, I question whether this is creating a gap between my potential relationships with others.

Growing up you hear the importance of self-love and having to accept oneself before accepting others, but rarely are you told as a kid, “Stop thinking you are so awesome.” How do you know when the self-love you have cultivated through your adolescent years and adulthood has morphed into full blown narcissism?

For starters, you can do what I did and the take the Narcissistic Personality Inventory by clicking here.

I scored 21 points out of 40, making my score higher than about 80% of the sample. That’s pretty high considering the average sample of celebrities was about 17 points.I also scored a maximum in vanity. What that essentially means is if you acknowledge the efforts that lead to your healthy physique by looking in the mirror, you are a vain human being – I can live with that.

Secondly, you can practice a little self-reflection. Are you selfish with others? Is your happiness linked to the amount of followers and “likes” you have on Instagram or Twitter? If so, maybe it’s time to split from yourself for a while.Try going on a seven-day selfie diet. Instead of updating your Facebook status to share what’s on your mind, message or even call an old friend to see how they are doing.

Although social media was created to help us connect with others, it seems to have the opposite effect. It is merely a platform for people to nurture and exploit their infatuation with themselves.

Social media sites are not to blame for birthing narcissists. People post selfies performing mundane tasks and simultaneously, perhaps unknowingly, isolate themselves from the world around them because doing this is in the realm of their comfort zone.

It’s easy to take friends and family for granted when you are preoccupied with yourself.

There are more challenging things that being preoccupied with yourself: Mustering the courage to approach your crush and ask them out on a date. Scheduling dinner with a group of friends, rather than posting a picture of a lonely plate on Instagram. Taking the time to know, love and care for someone better than you know, love and care for yourself.

If you love yourself, know the importance of sharing that adoration with others. Besides, life is sweeter when you have someone to share your doughnuts with.

sofia.galiano@fiusm.com