Image by Caroline Gagné via Flickr
Jean-Paul Bosque / Contributing Writer
Miami is known as the second rudest city in the United States, right behind New York as seen on Travel+Leisure “Rudest Cities in America.”
I’m here to argue that. I think we Miamians have been cheated out of the number one spot. Its not fair to throw us out of the number one spot because of our lack of subways and smog!
Miamians are some of the rudest, most self centered people in all of the 50 states. Our driving skills and lack of road etiquette alone should be enough to reward us with the number one spot on Travel+Leisure’s “Rudest Cities in America.”
The fact that our self centeredness translates so often onto the road and could potentially cause an accident and hurt someone else is ridiculous to the point where we find ourselves joking about bad drivers here. Like, is it really necessary to cut someone off because they looked at you wrong?
Yeah, we don’t have skyscrapers as high as some of the building in New York City, but our downtown skyline is built on cocaine money and corruption within our system! We don’t have a little Italy or little China, but we have La Sawera (Southwest) and Calle Ocho! We don’t have the famous Macy’s Day Parade, but we have ¡La Para de los Reyes magos, aseré! (The three Wise Men Day parade, my comrade). Even the way we talk about our city is rude and shows that even we don’t take ourselves seriously.
The Miamian walks around with a swagger of exfoliated testosterone, Axe body spray, cafecito cubano and bulldog look that will scare the stripes off your shirt. He pulls up next to you at a red light and gives you that, “Hey man, wanna race man, cause I’ll so take you man, cause man bro, man man bro?”
We have to start asking when did we start priding ourselves with being obnoxious and ‘trying’ or challenging every other person that walks by because our ego needs to be inflated a little bit more. This kind of outward attitude already proves that we’re basically asking to be named number one in rudeness.
So why isn’t Miami in the top spot, are we still not rude enough? Is it because our streets don’t smell like garbage? Well, take another sniff Travel+Leisure, cause what you think smells like Axe body spray is just a cover up. Take a walk down any other part of Miami but the beach and you’ll be greeted with the raw Miamian. The one that will make you sick to your stomach and make you cringe when you hear the song Welcome to Miami.
I still don’t get it and I don’t think I ever will.