How society erases the bisexual identity

Madari Pendas
Pride Guide / Columnist

When a person identifies as bisexual a lot of people assume there is an element of choice, or of self-deception. The bisexual will be seen as someone who has not “made up their mind yet” or is “confused” about their orientation—this seems to stem from the human proclivity towards binaries, to be able to easily compartmentalize and define people.

A lot of people view bisexuality as the antecedent to homosexuality, which perpetuates the “bi now, gay later fallacy.”

Bisexual erasure is the tendency towards dismissing, ignoring or falsifying bisexuality; an extreme example of erasure would be the denial of the existence of bisexuality. This bi-phobic sentiment is also present within the LGBT community, a community that advocates for acceptance and tolerance. And there are many gay and lesbian individuals who will refuse to date a bisexual.

On the dating website OkCupid there is an option to only view profiles of gay individuals, which allows a person to exclude the profiles of bisexuals.

The media is also guilty of bisexual erasure. In 2014, the New York Times ran an article that questioned the legitimacy of bisexuality, asking whether it even exist. Slate’s Dear Prudence advice column advised a bisexual woman to refrain from coming out.

The Gay and Lesbian Task Force has erased bisexual people from its own name, and published “Bye, Bye, Bi, Hello Queer,” which dismissed bisexuality. However, due to complaints it has recently changed to the National LGBTQ Task Force.

According to scholar Kenji Yoshino there are three main motivations for bisexual erasure. The first is sexual orientation stabilization. Orientation is simplified and dichotomized. Second, bisexuality threatens the importance that is placed on gender—it shifts sexual attraction away from gender. Third, the maintenance of monogamy; bisexuals are perceived to be less monogamous and “greedy.” This argument presupposes that all bisexuals are disloyal mates and have incorrigible sexual appetites.

Erasure is also treated differently among men and women. A man that identifies as bisexual will often be treated as a gay man who isn’t fully out of the closet; while a bisexual woman will be told her acts of intimacy with other women are “just a phase.”

Language also reflects the trend of erasure. If a bisexual person is in a relationship with a person of the opposite sex they are said to be in heterosexual relationship; if a bisexual is in a relationship with a person of the same sex they are said to be in a homosexual relationship. And while these terms have certain level of accuracy, these definitions undermine a person’s sexuality, and ignore the complexity of sexual orientation.  You can be in a homosexual relationship and not identify as homosexual.

An op-ed in the Advocate discussed the discrimination bisexuals face.

“This discrimination is pervasive on the face of marriage statutes, which define marriage in terms of sex; moreover, sex discrimination is the most acute form of discrimination suffered by bisexuals because they are denied marriage rights only when they have fallen in love with someone whom their state views as the wrong person.”

One solution to the problem of erasure is using the Kinsey scale to define sexual orientation. Whenever I am asked about my sexual preferences, I say one of the numbers on the spectrum, and it has differed at different periods in my life.

The benefit of using the Kinsey scale is that it shows the gradation of sexuality while avoiding binaries. It forces people to view sexuality on a continuum, rather than discrete identities.

“Males do not represent two discrete populations, heterosexual and homosexual. The world is not to be divided into sheep and goats. It is a fundamental of taxonomy that nature rarely deals with discrete categories… The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects,” wrote Alfred Kinsey.

The scale recognizes and allows for change, a person who fell at a three out of six on the Kinsey scale can move to a four or to a two easily because there isn’t a change in label. They don’t have to start referring to themselves with a different epithet—there’s no stigma of going from bisexual to gay, or the other way around. The scale recognizes shifts in sexual preference throughout a person’s life. Since it avoids labels it does not limit or attempt to define an individual.

Not everyone will feel comfortable using the Kinsey scale, there will situations that require definitions, and people who feel their sexual identity is fixed and not fluid, therefore there needs to be more inclusion and discussion of bisexuality, especially from LGBT organizations. Everyone has to start treating bisexuality with the same legitimacy as the other orientations in order to erase erasure.

 Pride Guide will take a deeper look into the LGBT community at FIU and produce a column that will consists of keen analysis within the daily lives of LGBT students and faculty. Make sure to read more Pride Guide at fiusm.com.

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