We’re missing life by looking for love

Image by @Doug88888 via Flickr

Jessica Soler | Contributing Writer

opinion@fiusm.com


 

Love is a powerful force that many people dream about finding. However, the periods in between should be seen as me-time, not exile.

From Prince Charming and Cinderella to Jay Z and Beyoncé, relationships have been treated like limited edition items: rare and valuable. The mentality persist that, if the opportunity to get into a relationship arises, take it, because who knows if another will come your way? While aspiring to have a great relationship is commendable, many young people put too much pressure on themselves to find “the one.”

Today, love has been marketed as a commodity necessary to a functioning lifestyle. Kids are getting into and ending their first relationships at younger and younger ages while twenty-somethings are jumping to get married. Today, if you’re single at 30, there is a good chance you will probably be alone forever and should look into adopting pets.

Of course, there are cases where young love is true love. High school sweethearts grow old together and the girl-next-door marries the boy-next-door. If it is real, there is nothing more to be said. However, young love is not the norm, which makes people want it even more.

The problem with this concept, aside from causing unnecessary stress, is that people lose sight of themselves in the glow of love. We are so invested in reading another person’s story we neglect writing our own. It has become a romanticized notion that we can only find ourselves in another person and until then we are incomplete. However, in the words of RuPaul, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love somebody else?”

Falling in love with yourself is sadly underrated. Society has conditioned people only to see flaws to be fixed in themselves, and the ones they can’t fixed can be solved by another person. This might be true, but until that person makes their grand entrance into one’s life it is important to figure out how to live with, and love, one’s shortcomings. Those who rock themselves, flaws and all, are the most beautiful people.

What happened to trusting in the magic of the universe? Where has the faith in the unknown gone? Timing is important, but stressing over it will not make the wheels turn any faster. If we are so focused on searching for our perfect match, chances are they will pass right by. It is important to slow down and take comfort that love will come when the time is right, so until then, enjoy what life brings.

Adolescence is the age of stupidity. It is when we are able to have fun and not take life so seriously; there will be plenty of time for that. Instead, individuals should try dating life itself – exploring the good and the bad in it. Now is the time to be free and self-invested. In the future, between a career and a family, when will you ever again have the time to paint yourself a million different colors?

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