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M. Jane | Concerned Citizen
opinion@fiusm.com
This is a satirical piece meant for entertainment purposes. Any truth or actual facts contained in said stories or posts are purely incidental or coincidental and not intended to be, or be construed as, facts. Any use of real names is accidental and coincidental.
I am concerned for the very soul of America.
The devil’s lettuce, known most commonly as marijuana or “reefer,” is weaving its way into the hearts, minds and lungs of United States citizens. And soon, it might be legal.
We’ve already allowed alcohol to flow through our streets and have seen it lead to deviant behavior and committing crimes under the influence, so why should we allow for these conditions to worsen? Decriminalizing this drug sends a message out to the American people that being constantly in a hazy state of mind is acceptable and I fear to be in a world where people are barely aware of their own surroundings. It’ll also make some people believe that they could partake in criminal activity in the present because there is hope that down the line that it’ll be legal.
There has been no research conducted regarding the long-term effects of marijuana on the human body, but I knew someone who smoked marijuana once. Once. Now he lives in an alley.
With the passage of the Controlled Substance Act of 1970, marijuana was temporarily classified as a Schedule I drug while its effects were under review. According to the IB Times, it was found that marijuana was “less a serious threat to public health than a sensitive social issue.” The research was never finished due to these fears, of course, and for good reason.
The unknown is a terrifying black hole in which I am not willing to venture, and no medical advancements were ever made by questioning the holy bastions of morality.
According to WebMD, smoking marijuana can result in three times the tar inhalation of cigarette smoke, and also contains cancer-causing substances. It can also cause shallow breathing, decreased reaction times, decreases in blood pressure and elevated heart rate. The last two together can irritate preexisting heart conditions and cause heart attacks in some people.
Forgoing the possible negative medical effects, there could be an increased rate in crimes involving assault and robbery – many banks will not accept money garnered from marijuana trade, so dispensaries have to deal solely in cash. Knowing this, criminals may be more likely to try to steal that money, at any means necessary, leading to higher instances of violent crime. You never know what a degenerate pot user might do to get their fix.
Even more disconcerting, think of the untaxed money that won’t go toward our public services. This cash not being accepted by the majority of banks nationwide, so these legal drug dealers will just keep it all to themselves instead of letting it go back into their local economy.
If marijuana were legal in all of the U.S., cops will have to focus on more violent crimes, putting their lives in danger, when the root of some of society’s problems stem from the plant growing insidiously under our own feet.
If we’re not careful, the next time you see Girl Scouts they may not only be selling Thin Mints.