Joshua Ceballos/Staff Writer
If you ask my mother, a devout Christian, being a virgin is the best thing you can be next to a doctor or lawyer, and if you can be all three then you’re golden. If you asked my friends in middle school and high school with whom I played “Dungeons & Dragons,” it was just an unfortunate state of living. Ask a good portion of my graduating class, and it’s a memory of times long passed.
For a lot of us here in college, the topic of virginity lingers uncomfortably in the air however, in my life, I’ve come to realize that staying a virgin does not mean wearing a scarlet “V” on your chest, nor is it the “social suicide” some might claim it to be.
While I was growing up, there was a movie that came on every year around Halloween called “Hocus Pocus.” The plot of the film revolved around three witches who have lain dormant for several centuries, waiting to be awoken by a virgin who will light a black candle. That virgin was the protagonist, Max, who absolutely abhorred his role as the kid who released evil witches because he hadn’t had sex yet.
When I first watched the film at age five, I had no idea what virgin meant, and the only virgin I had ever heard of was the Virgin Mary and I started wondering if it was a bad thing.
As I grew older I came to realize what the word meant, and the negative connotations that I thought might have been attached to it dissipated.
Many people share the opinion, it seems, that staying a virgin throughout your time in college is a no-go. Having sex is part of the university experience, as advertised by a slew of college movies like “National Lampoon’s Van Wilder,” “Eurotrip,” and “Accepted.”
These films showcase an idealized, or quite possibly caricatured image of college life and adventures, which almost all hinge heavily upon the erotic exploits of students.
With as much media circulating about college students rarely leaving their dorm rooms, a generation has certainly grown up assuming that on top of finishing their UCC and getting internships, losing their virginity is just another box on the graduation checklist.
For some students however, choosing to go against the tantric tide is their decided course of action.
In my household, my mother taught us that marriage is the union of two spirits, sex is the union of two bodies, and when the two unions coalesce, it’s something beautiful and pleasing to God. Giving up your virginity is like giving up a piece of yourself that should be saved for your future spouse.
For others, the choice to remain chaste comes out of a more personal ethical desire rather than a communal one. Either they believe that college is a time for study and focus rather than any kinds of risque activity, or they choose to save themselves for the person they will marry out of a promise.
For me, I think it’s something to be proud of. Not that having sex is by any means shameful, but if you can make a promise to yourself and exercise the willpower to maintain that promise, it’s definitely a testament to your spiritual strength.
The most wonderful thing about university is that there are so many choices on how to craft your experience, and virginity is another one of those myriad choices.
Whether you subscribe to the “Van Wilder” school of thought, have a significant other, or are choosing to save yourself for your current or future spouse. Luckily, there are no black candles here on campus, so no one needs to worry about revealing said lifestyle.
Oh My Gosh, Josh is a monthly column that discusses various issues that affect students.
Photo retrieved from Flickr
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