By Chantal Henry
Many students see nothing wrong with being kinky in the bedroom — in fact, many of them revel in them. It’s fun and exciting, allowing their partner to reveal certain sides of themselves that they didn’t expect. On the other hand, some may see it as a little excessive and would prefer a simple more gentle approach.
Aria Richardson, junior, and business major believes in being open about one’s sexual life: “Being kinky was a private subject in the past that no one really liked to speak about and now people are more open about it,” said Richardson.
“I think it’s very essential especially for those in relationships. No one likes boring sex, and you should be interested in learning things because without it, it can make and break a lot of marriages [which leads to] infidelities,” said the business major.
Richardson also explains that in the film, “Fifty Shades of Grey,” is seen as interesting and intriguing, not too much of an abusive act; it all depends on how comfortable you are with your partner.
Majority of the ladies, believe it or not, like the aggressive behavior and taking a role as the submissive partner. Being kinky has its perks to spicing up a relationship. Peoples’ perspectives on pleasure may include pain, while to others, too much aggressive behaviors may be deemed as abuse. In “Fifty Shades of Grey,” Anastasia Steele, who plays the leading role in the film, allows him to take control and please him sexually. Junior, Sumaiya Moti, double majoring in Biology and Psychology, talks about her perception on the submissive position Anastasia had in “Fifty Shades of Grey” film,
“It was awkward that he was hitting her to turn her on, and came off abusive,” said Moti. “Not everything that the male partner was doing seemed consensual to the female character.”
It is stereotypical for most men to want to be dominant and feel in control, while others rather be controlled, however, not everyone remembers that being consensual is an essential factor to a healthy and kinky sex life.
After speaking to Joel Lissade, FIU alumni about his inputs on kinks he prefers equal dominance and being spontaneous. He states that for him
“One of his kinks would be choking and spontaneous intimacy,” said Joel Lissade, a graduate of the University. “It’s either you got it or you don’t. But if someone wants to find their way, its best to learn what you like by trying new things and going from there. You have to get out of your comfort zone while still trying to find your comfort in it.”
Lissade’s take on “Fifty Shades of Grey” is that it is seen as unnecessary to beat someone up to be turned on, so ultimately to him, the whole sexual act in the film is abusive.
Unlike most males who like the wild side, another male student claims he is not much into the aggressive behavior, and rather a gentle approach, being aggressive was not a necessary factor to him to enjoy sex. So for all the ladies out there that likes a man with a gentle touch, they do exist!
All in all it all depends on your preference and to be sure that everything that is communicated between the two partners is consensual and enjoyable.
Whether you’re a fan of “Fifty Shades of Grey” and like to take a few pointers or disagree with what they do behind closed doors, do what makes you comfortable, explore comfort zones and just remember it’s all about consent.
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