Arranged marriages: I do or I do not?

By Tanvi Hathiramani

Growing up, whenever the topic of boys came up, all eyes were usually on me and not for the reasons you are probably thinking. In fact, I firmly believed boys had cooties until I was eight and I still feel that way towards men.

Even as a child, when I told people my family was from India, I often got asked, “are you going to have an arranged marriage?”

Even my teachers would ask me and I hate to say it, but, even up to now it still happens. I mean, let me take a look into my crystal ball and see what’s going to happen in 10 years.

But, I’ll be honest it’s never stopped me from moving forward in relationships. As a 16-year-old, the first thing that pops into my head when I have a crush on someone shouldn’t be, “are my parents going to be okay with the fact that he is Hispanic?”

The funny thing is, something people never truly realize is that Europeans have been arranging marriages since the 18th century. When Lord’s promised their daughter to another kingdom’s prince, that was an arranged marriage, take a look at Game of Thrones for example.

Yes, arranged marriages began in the Vedic period in Hindu culture, but the history books usually leave out that the Chinese embraced arranged marriages and so did royal families.

Personally, I’m not opposed to arranged marriages, what I am opposed to is the negative connotation behind it. If there’s someone who just can’t meet a man on her own and needs to be set up by her family members then so be it, we’re no one to judge.

I’ve seen arranged marriages both blow up and flourish into a beautiful relationship.

As an Indian woman, I have considered the idea of an arranged marriage. Not in the sense of getting married to someone I’ve never met before, but merely getting introduced to someone, somewhat like Tinder. And if that happens, then so be it, but like I said I don’t have a crystal ball to predict the future.

One thing that people haven’t understood yet, is that India is revolutionizing; not only their technology but their lifestyle, and that includes arranged marriages.

Parents are open to love-marriages, and they’re open to setting their kids up on coffee dates. It’s no longer slapping a ring on your finger before you can ask your hubby-to-be his name.

In fact, according to Statistic Brain, 53.25 percent of the marriages that happened in 2017 were arranged marriages.

If you google “arranged marriages” right now, I can guarantee that the first thing that’ll come out is an article about India, and I can guarantee that because I just did that search.

Here’s the cool thing about India; in all the arranged marriages that occur, only 6.3 percent of them end in divorce versus the love-marriages in the western culture that happen to have a 50 percent divorce rate.

And bear in mind: all these dating websites? That’s what the modern people call the first step to an arranged marriage.

Photo retrieved by Flickr.

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