Black women face challenges with dating apps

Brea Jones/ Staff Writer

We all know the struggles of dating. Taking the risk of finding someone who is a perfect match can be hard and stressful. Over 50 percent of people turn to dating apps in order to boost their relationship lives, or lack thereof, according to Statista. But some of the prejudice and bigotry that occur in the real world often leak into the online dating world.

It’s hard for black women, and women of color, to find love — much less begin a relationship — on dating sites because of this.

It’s OK if everyone has a preference on who they choose to be in a relationship with, but if you eliminate an entire race of people based on nothing, that’s a problem. Statistics from a 2014 survey conducted by OKCupid show that 82 percent of men on OKCupid have bias against black women.

In 2017, Hadiya Roderique spoke out about the challenges black women face when using a dating profile. She felt as though she wasn’t being taken seriously on the apps. While searching for a true genuine connection with someone, multiple men would only send her messages asking for sex.

Roderique’s friends thought that her job title as a black lawyer was intimidating the serious men on the app, causing them to not reach out to her, but Roderique wasn’t so sure.

As an experiment, Roderique changed her race on the app — all other information stayed the same — and as a result, she saw her popularity and interactions on the app increase.  

Black women feel the need to turn to online dating because most have no relationship luck in real life, especially with black men. Some black men are constantly expressing how much they dislike black women.

Their reasons are reinforced by society’s stereotypes of black women such as being too loud, too controlling or too ratched.

While some black men let society influence their decision on black women, others do not date black women simply because they are intimidated by us. When black women seem too accomplished or too independent, it can also send black men running to the hills, according to Essence. Appearances seem to be the key as to why some black men won’t date black women. Whether we are too free and outgoing, or we focus on our careers and our own issues, it seems as though black women can’t win the respect black men.

The lack of respect black women recieve causes them to be seen less like people. Instead, we are seen as a fetish or a sex object. When a slave owner would rape a black female, he would inaccurately justify his actions by blaming the female. Ever since then black women have been seen as ‘hypersexual delinquents,’ as if we can not control our bodies, which is simply not true.

While some of my black female friends are free and sexually liberated, others are waiting until marriage to engage in sex. Regardless of their personal choices of how they choose to live their life, men are constantly approaching them at parties and assuming that they are only willing to have sex.

Everyone needs to take a step back and stop fetishizing black women.

All of the racial intolerance that black women receive in everyday life finds its way to online dating apps combined with the general problems and fears that come with online dating just doesn’t make it seem like an ideal option for women of color.

Unfortunately, people have this predetermined mindset of black women and all women of color. We are placed on a lower shelf in comparison white women. Although all women of color are constantly working together to change that, it is going to be a long journey.

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The opinions presented within this page do not represent the views of Panther Press Editorial Board. These views are separate from editorials and reflect individual perspectives of contributing writers and/or members of the University community.

Photo by William Hook on Unsplash.