We should learn to identify the dark side of love

Eduardo Alvarez/ Contributing Writer

The arts show us the importance of having temperance in relationships. Unfortunately, we are led to believe that love is a simple thing, and viewing love and relationships in a very different light than what real life is.

I used to think Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet” was a poetic expression of an immortal love, but now I think it shows the consequences of acting childishly — a pair of star-crossed lovers who acted before thinking ended up killing themselves.

This is of course an indelible human trait. After all, affection and coupling is the basis of our species’ survival. But anything in excess is bad, even something as heart melting as a relationship.

Partners, especially during the earlier stages and years of a relationship, tend to look at each other through a pair of rose-colored glasses. It’s only later in life that we know the rhythm by which we must establish relationships, which is why a large portion of abuse cases happen among younger couples.

It’s important to understand how we act in order to learn how to identify which relationships are healthy and which are not.

Some of these are blatantly obvious — like a romantic partner who is too possessive and controlling. And it’s important to remember that this can happen to any kind of couple — heterosexual, homosexual and otherwise. It could be the boy or the girl or both who are acting inappropriately, and often times the blindness of infatuation makes it hard for someone in toxic relationships to sever the harmful bond.

It also makes it more improbable for that person to follow the counsel of an older, more seasoned friend or family member. And although this is an almost impossible piece of advice to follow, it has to be repeated so that if any of us should ever find ourselves in that position, a tiny voice, stifled as it may be, empowers the mature side of us that understands that it is better to be single than to be in a bad relationship.

Despite what Shakespeare and Nicholas Sparks may have depicted love to be like, we need to be see love for what it truly is, and what it could potentially become. Love can be as sweet as smelling the roses, but love can also be as dark as the night.

A drug like idealization of another human being creates an impetus so rooted in our very nature that despite our knowledge of its danger, we cannot help but admire and enshrine it in our greatest plays, poems and text messages.

 

DISCLAIMER:

The opinions presented within this page do not represent the views of Panther Press Editorial Board. These views are separate from editorials and reflect individual perspectives of contributing writers and/or members of the University community.

 

Photo by Element5 Digital on Unsplash.

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