Other than Tom Hardy, nothing good came out of “Venom”

Erik Jimenez/Staff Writer

This movie should not exist. It really shouldn’t.

“Venom” is a movie made so Sony could have their own cinematic universe and not renew their contract with Marvel Studios on the use of the character of Spider-Man.

The script for the “Venom” movie has been confirmed to be the same one from their previous failed cinematic universe with “The Amazing Spider-Man” films.

Instead of learning their lesson and enjoying the deal they have with Marvel—where they get to make movies with the “Spider-Man” characters while Sony reaps all profits—they are still bitter with the fans for rightfully telling them to screw off with their first universe attempt. Sony just used Marvel to build up a decent Spider-Man so they can create their own versions of Venom, the rest of Spidey’s rogues gallery, and whatever other awful ideas they come up with.

Oh yeah and the movie sucks too.

In arguably the most pre-MCU movie since before the MCU started, the story involves Eddie Brock (Tom Hardy), a San Francisco-based journalist. He’s down on his luck after an interview with Carlton Drake (Riz Ahmed), the inventor and founder of a bioengineering company known as the Life Foundation, goes wrong after Brock asks questions about the company’s shady past. Brock makes a makes connections after being informed by someone to investigate, and as a result gets infected with an alien life-form named Venom.

As it turns out, Drake and the Life Foundation were acquired by alien life forms and to Drake’s belief, humanity has doomed the planet. He wants to fuse humanity with these creatures to live off-world, which he has been illegally testing on human subjects. Drake secretly sends his own private militia to hunt Brock down and return Venom to him. Wishing to expose the truth and get revenge on Drake, Brock and Venom decide to team up to accomplish their goals. However, there is another symbiote has been lying low on Earth waiting to enact its own plan, and Drake’s company is just the way to do it.

On the technical side of things, the symbiotes are rather marvelous works of CGI. They are close to the ones in the comics—their use of attacks is often times ingenious and the voice modulated dialogue is legitimately intimidating.

The movie convinces the viewer that these beings are dangerous as one their preferred meals is human brains. It’s almost like it should have been rated R.

In fact, it originally was. Hardy himself said in press interviews how the studio had to cut out 40 minutes of explicit footage.

Maybe that’s why the film feels so scattershot in it’s pacing, tone and all-around style.

Hardy is the only positive thing to come out of this mess, as his New-Yorker “aw-shucks”-esque accent is legitimately impressive and somewhat endearing. Every other actor from Ahmed to Michelle Williams’, who plays Eddie’s ex-fiancée Anne, seems boring. The plot is a good 10-15 years to old.

If the backlot politics were not enough to strive you away from this turd in the wind, the experience of watching the feature will do that for me.

1 star out of 5

 

The featured photo for this review was taken from Flickr.

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