“Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald” is barely a movie

Erik Jimenez/Staff Writer

The Wizarding World has gotten woke. And has gotten broke physically, spiritually, creatively, and hopefully, economically.

J.K. Rowling has made it clear on her Twitter that she has a left-wing bias in just about everything she says and does post-Harry Potter. Those opinions were always there, but she kept them subtle to rake in the money from fans of all political persuasions. However, as her fans marched politically more to the left, what she did in the Harry Potter books were not enough for this new SJW crowd and soon her classic series got criticized for having the progressive values of children’s books from the late 90’s and mid-2000’s.

And Rowling kneels down to this P.C. culture that infects our society because she believes in it. As a result, the new “Fantastic Beasts” is such a nothing of a film that every single problem with it stems from Rowling’s efforts to appease these fans that will never be satisfied.

There is no plot in “Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald”. There are certainly a lot of characters. Some of them are tasked to do things. Dumbledore (Jude Law) assigns Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne) to search for Credence Barebone (Ezra Miller) who is hiding in Paris. He has to keep him safe from the recently escaped Dark Wizard Grindelwald (Johnny Depp), who is also searching for Credence and setting up something evil… I think. The film does not make it clear.

But after two of Newt’s friends from the previous film, human Jacob and Witch fiancée Queenie make a surprise visit, they are dragged along Newt’s mission. Or Jacob is specifically. Queenie splits from them early on and ends up in the clutches of some of Grindelwald’s crowd. What she actually wanted was to find her sister Tina, an Auror (magical bounty hunter) who’s one of Newt’s two love interests in the picture.

Yes, I said two. There is a love triangle between Newt, Tina, and newcomer Leta Lestrange. Lestrange was Newt’s former flame but is now engaged to Newt’s brother Theseus, another Auror that is tasked by the British Ministry of Magic to kill Credence and hunt his brother for breaking parole.

Also, Nagini is now retconned to be an Asian woman that can turn into a snake because Rowling wanted more diversity. But this change upset the HP fanbase so much not because it’s a dumb idea, but because the implications bring up hints at being racist in Orientalist thought and this got to the front cover of Buzzfeed and yes, this is how awful the fanbase has become.

And because of all of this, the actors are not able to give off any impressions in their performances and the movie’s pace is non-existent. While the effects are par for the course in this franchise, the cinematography takes a downgrade in this movie. There are some moments (especially in the French Ministry of Magic) where the color scheme is blue, slightly darker blue and even darker blue.

If you’re in it for the “Fantastic Beasts,” sorry, they are barely in the movie. If you want to see your favorite characters from the previous film, sorry, they are sharing screen time with characters that Rowling put in for the sake of diversity. And don’t you dare see this if you haven’t seen the last film because you will be lost.

It’s like J.K. Rowling wanted “Fantastic Beasts” to be the lighter cousin of the main HP films, but once right-wingers around the world started winning elections, she decided to turn it into a scowling lecture into the evils of Conservatism. And her fans said it wasn’t good enough and that she needed to try harder. And the terrifying Ouroboros that is the current Harry Potter fandom keeps eating its own tail.

Photo retrieved from Ma_Co2013 on Flickr.

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