Happiness Is Not About Being Happy All The Time

Asim Nabi/Contributing Writer

Be positive. Stay optimistic. See the glass half full. This is what some people say when they know someone else is sad or depressed.

For proof, look no further than your Instagram feed. Besides influencers who try to manipulate you by appearing happy all the time, you’ll see self-help books that teach you to always focus on the positive. If you’re dealing with pessimism, then you’re different—stranger—than everyone else.

But this idea of happiness is absurd, according to bestselling author and Danish psychology professor Svend Brinkmann, who argues that trying to be happy all the time is totally bizarre and could lead to serious consequences.

“Life is wonderful from time to time, but it’s also tragic. People die in our lives, we lose them, if we have only been accustomed to being allowed to have positive thoughts, then these realities can strike us even more intensely when they happen—and they will happen,” said Brinkmann.

Brinkmann also explains there is a downside to staying positive: it makes us feel that our own emotions are mere commodities that we have to swap with happiness regardless of what we’re going through.

An example of this occurred in the U.S. in 2016 with a mandatory workplace ruling against T-Mobile, which required all its workers to “maintain a positive work environment in a manner that is conducive to effective working relationships.” The National Labour Relations Board struck down T-Mobile policies, stating that companies cannot force employees to be consistently cheery. 

Then there’s the whole world of self-help books and lectures that frame happiness as a personal agenda and sadness as something that shouldn’t be discussed.

The truth is, we should consider all types of emotions as part of life. If you’ve never experienced sadness, then you wouldn’t be able to know what happiness feels like. The problem occurs when you may be going through a rough patch for a long time, in which professional help is needed at that point. 

In the U.S. anxiety (41.6%) and depression (36.4%) are among the top psychological problems faced by students, according to the American Psychological Association. It’s easy for a student to fall in the trap of figuring out everything in their life when they should realize that it’s just the starting phase where they’ll inevitably face ups and downs.

The key is to balance between what you can control and what you can’t. If you can control your emotions, then, with the passage of time and proper planning, it can be yours, and if you cannot control it, then holding it will definitely show more adverse effects. Feeling all types of emotions is what a human body is made to withstand; it’s an ongoing, never-ending process we must all face. Living life with proper food intake and exercise, socializing and defining a goal that you can follow is some advice that I stick to.

If you think there’s something wrong with you and you need someone else to guide you to the right path, then don’t look for self-help books or the Instagram influencers who act the idea of super happy and awesome all the time. 

Realize that you can never compare apples with oranges and everyone’s timeline is different. 

Featured image by Jens Bergander on Flickr.

DISCLAIMER:

The opinions presented within this page do not represent the views of PantherNOW Editorial Board. These views are separate from editorials and reflect individual perspectives of contributing writers and/or members of the University community.

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