Dueling Column: Here’s to Monogamy

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Carlos Pino/ Staff Writer

Read “Polyamorous Relationships are More than Just Cheating” by Jacqueline Flores here.

In a world of hookups and swiping right on dating apps, it’s time for intimate monogamy to make a comeback.

The depths of your love can take different forms. Though some people may choose multiple partners, there are many people that desire exclusivity. Monogamy brings simplicity into intimate relationships. 

University life is already complicated, so why complicate things even more by having multiple partners?

Monogamy can give the simplicity of focusing your attention and emotional energy onto one person rather than multiple people. If one spreads their energy out to multiple partners, it can become emotionally and socially exhausting, which is less of a problem with monogamy. By focusing that energy solely on that one person, you would have more time to yourself.

A sense of security or a sense of loyalty can come easy with monogamous relationships. Having that one person be your one and only can feel like an exclusiveness to cherish. It feels good to know that you are the one for that person and they are the one for you. 

When it comes to sexual relationships, hook-up culture or one-night stands can feel fleeting and superficial. With monogamy, there is a sense of intimacy with that one person that is unlike what can be shared with other superficial sexual partners. Sex can be more intimate and personal when it is with someone you trust, love, respect and have exclusive romances.

Veronica Perez, a senior at FIU studying English Literature, and her boyfriend have been together for over three years.

“It feels fulfilling because it satisfies what I think I know is love,” said Perez. “It does feel good to be able to say that ‘this is my one person, I’m their one person.”

The comfort and security of a monogamous relationship are what attract so many people to it. 

“I love my partner, I don’t see myself ending up with anyone else, and if that means not really exploring any other sort of relationship, I’m fine with that.” said Perez. 

Exploring your own sexuality and desires is normal. But, don’t let it discourage you into thinking that monogamy won’t fulfill your desires and needs. 

The trust built in a monogamous relationship can make it easier to explore one’s sexuality. There shouldn’t be fear or embarrassment to confide your own desires and needs to your partner. 

Sex in monogamy can be adventurous. One should feel comfortable exploring their partner’s body, as well as their own. Discovery is the foundation of a healthy monogamous relationship.

But, monogamy can lead to unhealthy habits if you aren’t ready for a relationship. Jealousy is a normal aspect of any relationship, but being overly possessive can lead to the end of any relationship.

It’s easy to feel overly attached to a single person, but suffocating love is never the way to a successful relationship. A person shouldn’t feel trapped in their relationship. The core of monogamy is trusting your partner to uphold the boundaries you agreed on.

Like any relationship, you have to believe in its worth to make it work. 

Monogamy takes effort and work. But trusting and communicating with your partner is key to having a healthy relationship. It’s hard but worth it to be with the person you love.

“I think it’s rare to find someone that you love and they love you back,” said Perez. “I found it, and I never want to let that go.”


The opinions presented within this page do not represent the views of the PantherNOW Editorial Board. These views are separate from editorials and reflect individual perspectives of contributing writers and/or members of the University community

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