Valentine’s Day Is A Love Scam

Nicole Ardila/ Assistant Opinion Director

Stop sitting around wondering if someone’s going to ask you to be their Valentine this year. Like, do you honestly know what that even means? 

We all grew up with the notion that if you don’t get a note or candy from someone on Valentine’s Day, then you’re a loser. What made it even worse was when you only got something because Little Jimmy passed out heart-shaped lollipops to the whole class. 

Valentine’s Day is a celebration of love and affection, so out of the 365 days in the year, why does society pressure us to celebrate it only on one?

Because balloons, candy, teddy bears and roses were all thrown at our faces every Feb. 14 since our earliest days. We’ve conformed to spoiling each other so that people can like us back. If you do run around looking for all of those gifts for your crush, then congratulations, you’re a contributor to the fifth-largest spending event in the U.S. 

On Valentine’s Day 2021, Americans spent $21.8 billion on gifts for loved ones. But it paled in comparison to 2020 when Americans spent $27.4 billion— making it a record-breaking year. 

Is blowing your entire paycheck the right way to show someone how much you appreciate them? Showering someone with materialistic affection for a day means absolutely nothing if you don’t show them you love them every day. 

There isn’t a universal law that tells us what love is, nor the proper way to show or feel it. Sure, there are different love languages. Some people like gift-giving, but you shouldn’t feel forced to splurge to gain someone else’s love.

It goes the other way around as well. We may see posts of others getting spoiled, and when you don’t receive the same from your partner, you compare the authenticity of your relationship to the fake ones on social media. Real love is shown in unconditional ways, with no strings attached. 

Forget the cheesy gifts. There are better ways to show love to, not just to your partner, but to friends and family, too. 

Listening to your partner, showing gratitude, noticing needs, spending quality time, writing or speaking about your feelings or creating physical intimacy are all romantic ways to express the love you have for someone. The best part is applying these love languages when practicing self-love.

So why does society pressure us into thinking we need other people to love us? 

I bet you can think of a few people who’ve barely been single and taken time to focus on loving themselves before entering a new relationship. You could’ve had 20 partners and still not even know what love feels like, and that’s okay. But to love others, you need to learn how to love yourself first. And let me tell you, comparing yourself to others and their love experiences is always the wrong answer. 

Real love cannot be bought. Don’t let a commercialized holiday question your worth. If you don’t receive a rose or teddy bear from someone, it doesn’t mean you’re not loved, or should feel left out. 

Remember celebrating love involves having that special connection and intimacy, not just spoiling each other. And if you’re alone this year, don’t worry, your time will soon come!

DISCLAIMER:

The opinions presented within this page do not represent the views of the PantherNOW Editorial Board. These views are separate from editorials and reflect individual perspectives of contributing writers and/or members of the University community