Sophia Noya | Staff Writer
We take journalism seriously here at PantherNow, so obviously I’ve spent hours today thinking critically about Minecraft.
Released last Friday, Jared Hess’s A Minecraft Movie–which is already a massive box office hit– stars Jack Black as Steve, the video game’s famous default character.
Steve fights to save The Overworld from the evil Piglins with the help of Jason Momoa & co, who have accidentally wandered in through a portal, are reasonably freaked out, and want to go home as soon as possible.
I walked into the theater with very low expectations and walked out proven correct.
But first, the positives: I can’t argue with the fact that audiences are completely beside themselves with euphoria watching this– which is good, I guess?
Minecraft also had a lot of funny moments, all of which Momoa was 100% responsible for. As Garrett “The Garbage Man” Garrison, he delivered a perfectly absurd performance that outshined even the great Jack Black.
Besides that, Minecraft is a meandering, bizarrely edited, and poorly-written movie.
The movie spends way too much time developing unnecessary storylines that take place outside of The Overworld and that distract from the actual Minecraft-related plot.
When we were in The Overworld, it felt like I was watching something made with two bucks and a Temu green screen—entirely too many fleshy Villagers for my tastes.
All the characters are one-dimensional–I’m sorry, Momoa, I promise you were my favorite!–and the stiff, cheesy dialogue does them no favors. The onslaught of outdated meme references (Children yearning for the mines? General Chungus?) had me cringing so hard that I fused atoms with the theater seat.
Even though I had fun and love a silly kids movie, A Minecraft Movie overshot “silly” by a couple thousand miles and collided cranium-first with “overall bad”.
Some soul-searching also needs to be done to figure out if, at the geriatric age of 21, I am simply not this movie’s target audience. It’s best that I leave this for the kids and die-hard fans.
It would be nice to live in a world where the Minecraft soundtrack was on a constant loop, though.
3/10
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