Dylan Masvidal | Staff Writer
“Who is this for?”
That was my first thought as I took notice of the “Masters of the Universe” trailer on my Instagram feed.
Intuition told me it was haphazardly designed for the 50 and older crowd. You know, the rabid yet harmless ‘80s junkies who jump up and down at the idea of a ghost trap popcorn bucket.
As someone who cherishes dad media more than my own dad, this nostalgia trip reeked of flagrant greed. A not-so-subtle reminder of Hollywood’s creative bankruptcy and another stain on the summer blockbuster’s coffin.
But a doomer I am not; every movie has a right to a fair trial, even one that casts Jared Leto.
Having an uber-dismissive attitude has bitten me before, and in this instance, nearly blinded me to the fact that Laika CEO Travis Knight and composer extraordinaire Daniel Pemberton were involved with the film.
“Masters of the Universe” is many disappointing things, only a vapid attempt isn’t one of them.
Despite cutting his teeth as a stop-motion animator, Knight is no chump when operating in live-action. A reverence for color and movement is what separates this film from the cement paste visual palette that contaminates current comic-book movies.
His direction consists of the occasional larger-than-life digital snapshot, such as Adam transforming into He-Man for the first time as a cloud-shaped Castle Grayskull appears behind him, or Skeletor’s delightfully expressive face that you wouldn’t question as CG if you saw him walking beside you on the street.
Knight also understands what puts butts in those seats: sweet, sweet action. While there isn’t an excess of it, the battle scenes we do get are more than hearty. A swing of He-Man’s sword compels the camera to zoom in and zip around the fight like a bat out of hell. The final showdown with Skeletor in particular drops the dueling and turns into a beatdown ripped straight out of a “Hajime no Ippo” panel.
Being that this franchise does not exist without “Flash Gordon”, Pemberton’s compositions double down on the glam rock aesthetics associated with both, a complete shift from Bill Conti’s orchestral jubilation of the original.
“Eternia”, the film’s leitmotif, justifies this remake’s existence for me. Channeling ABBA and the “Rocky” theme, the homage reaches absolute metamorphosis with the arrival of a godly Brian May guitar solo, wrapping this powerful pastiche in a neat bow.
Much of the score follows this winning formula, whether it adds synth or medieval elements, except a heartfelt piano rendition of The Cure’s “Boy’s Don’t Cry” which does a more effective job of relaying the film’s core ideas than the script itself.
Where “Masters of the Universe” fails to exceed expectations is in its Coke and a smile narrative.
Credit where credit is due, Knight and his writing partner Chris Butler strived to craft a He-Man origin story with genuine gravitas while also not taking itself too seriously.
In doing so, you get a delightfully himbo outing from Nicholas Galitzine as He-Man and, by King Randor’s beard, the best performance in the film from Leto’s Skeletor.
Even when masked in effects and pitch shifted down, I still was hesitant to believe the hype, but he proved to be a worthy vessel for Eternia’s power-hungry prima donna to come out. There’s no lengths of maniacal laughing, remorseless killing and snappy sass that Leto won’t go.
It’s unfortunate everyone else is an afterthought. Camila Mendes, Idris Elba, Alison Brie, Mekaneck: they all look cool for nothing, doing a fine job with no real character dimension to work with.
The source material being a ruse to sell toys doesn’t change the fact that “Masters of the Universe” should have completely zigged instead of simultaneously trying to zag.
All this manpower being put into the production design and costuming, which still produces flat lighting due to the overreliance on digital environments and post-production, just for the middle section of the film to lose way too much urgency.
Once Prince Adam first transforms into He-Man, the wheels must fall off. Don’t take your foot off the brake and up the theatrics for as much as the budget allows.
If “Masters of the Universe” was shooting for “Guardians of the Galaxy”, the end result was “Power Rangers”.
Let singing muscle men lie.
5/10
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