My struggles against reality, laziness and maturity

Photo by Wikimedia via Wikimedia Commons

Luis Santana/Opinion Director

Ever since I was a boy, I’ve seen the world through rose colored lenses. I’ve always viewed the world as a place where some bad things happen, but for the most part things work out. Sure, my parents had gotten divorced when I was 12 and a very good friend of mine passed away a while ago, but most of the time I just chose not to think about these things. I lived in the sunlit world of fantasy and carefree ease. I would scorn my homework and other errands, leaving them for another day while I spent my time trying to relax; all the while the impending deadline gnawed at my conscience.

I was the student who finished his science fair projects the night before, forcing my parents to stay up and help me just because I had not planned things correctly. I would forget my assignments and hastily finish them in one class, just before they were due for the next one, turning in a paper that was subpar and received the appropriate subpar grade. You would’ve thought by now I would have learned my lesson from all this, but here I am, about to turn 21 with the same mentality.

I’d like to think that I’ve changed, that I’ve become hard working and industrious. I’d like to think that I’ve put myself on a schedule to get things done and I don’t do work between classes, but I’d be lying to us both. Truthfully, I have spurts of industry.

For a while I work really hard and seem to be beating back the laziness inside of me, but as quick as I began, it ends and I go back to agonized repose.

The worst product of this laziness is when it directly affects others. I once didn’t finish a joint study guide because I loafed around and my partner was upset at me. At the time, I just calmed her by saying that I had been “extremely busy” when we had had months to complete the study guide and I had spent most of that time just playing a video game.

At other times I’ve left promises unfulfilled. Not leaving my house on time, not arriving when I had said I would or just notifying people I had cancelled a plan. I feel this also has to do with a lack of maturity on my part and not wanting to be in the wrong. I toss aside responsibilities and think that people won’t mind when really they do.

I sincerely want to change. I don’t want to be lazy anymore. I want to get my assignments done on time. I want to have the drive to accomplish the things that are set before me. I don’t want to just dress or sound like someone who’s mature, but I want to be that person. I want to have goals and more importantly, I want to reach them. I want to stop letting down the people who count on me. I want to take my head out of the clouds. I want to grow up.

I’m writing this in the hopes that one of you, my faithful readers, will give me some tips or answers. Maybe one of you is going through what I’m going through or has conquered it and has words of wisdom to share. If you do have any advice, feel free to share it with me and I’ll write back to you as quickly as possible. For now, thank you in advance for the support while I make my best effort to change from this article onward.