When it comes to first dates, there are no set rules

Laquavia Smith/Contributing Writer

Whether it was that one night you got drunk and rode home with “what’s-his-name” or the result of a very, very good first date being intimate — let alone kissing — on the first date happens, it’s normal. With this day and age, you find more people are open to kissing, spending the night and sleeping together after only one date, if not on the same night.

As millennials, we’re not only more open-minded, but also less afraid of the consequences of following our guts. Don’t get me wrong; “more” does not mean all. There are still a few who follow a strict list of rules when it comes to first dates and dating period.

According to Glamour magazine, “It might be wise to reserve fully acting on and voicing your feelings until after date number two.” Glamour writer Ryan Serhant described his own dating techniques and implied that “first date” anything isn’t really his cup-of-tea and he likes to keep it flirty and harmless.

“If my date was too touchy on the first meeting, I was a little concerned that a) she wasn’t serious about me, or b) she was like that with every guy. If my date was too stiff and standoffish, I would take it as a sign that she’s not feeling it,” Serhant wrote.

I also look out for my own personal signs when it comes to first dates, including eye contact, choice of words, direction of conversation and hand placement. If the person I’m on a date with reaches out to hold my hand, or puts their hand around my shoulder, I know that not only are they comfortable with me, but I’ve smitten them, if even just a little.

Kissing versus being intimate are two different ball games and one who believes kissing is okay on the first date may not agree to do anything more on that day. Everyone has different rules and writer Rebecca Adams of The Huffington Post provides the thoughts of 14 different women on the action of sex on the first date and the ratio of differences to similarities that can be seen in their responses is interesting.

“I would never have sex on a first date with someone. The first date is not enough time to talk about any past sexual history that may have resulted in diseases, diseases that I might be able to catch…” Women number one said to The Huffington Post.

Woman number eight, however, said, “I have had sex the first day I’ve met someone and also waited a while with another. I’m no longer with either of these people. I firmly believe that, as long as you practice safe sex, an individual should feel free to have sex with whomever they choose on whatever ‘date’ number it is.”

Out of the two women mentioned, you can look it from a political view, with number one being of the conservative party and number eight being more of a liberal. If I had to side with one of the two ladies, the latter response would definitely be more my style. Now, let me write very carefully, I am not the advocate or spokesperson for sexual intercourse on the first date, however I would be lying if I said its never happened to me.

Connections are real and vibes are even realer; you can feel like you’ve known someone your whole life with just one encounter, much like a fairy tale ending.

“If you’re feeling the kind of sexual chemistry that makes your knees weak, I say go for it. I think putting a number on the dates-to-sex ratio can be stifling. We could all benefit from trusting our instincts and ourselves a little more,” Women number 11 said. “I don’t judge someone for getting their freak on, and I wouldn’t date a man long if he judged me for my healthy sexual appetite and attitude.”

When it comes to our own backyard, according to Cosmopolitan, first date sex is not okay but “party” sexual intercourse is normal and accepted in college. In a survey of 300 college students, many explained that it’s perfectly normal to “hook-up” at a social event due to the mixer of the party and booze.

However, many confessed that they wouldn’t feel comfortable doing anything more than kissing on a first date, even if in this different scenario it was the exact same person in question.

“Hooking up” has become apart of the college culture but to many’s surprise, including my own, this said “hooking-up” is more a social activity when under the influence rather than a sign of attraction.

All in all, with Valentine’s Day approaching, it’s important to be not only conscious but also safe. Love is not a form of protection from pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases.

Regardless of alcohol, if you’re leaving the movies or at a getty, it’s prominent to stick with what you know, to do what makes you feel comfortable and never allow anything or anyone other than your own gut, intuition or instinct to change your mind when it comes to kissing, dating or even being sexually active.

 

DISCLAIMER:

The opinions presented within this page do not represent the views of Panther Press Editorial Board. These views are separate from editorials and reflect individual perspectives of contributing writers and/or members of the University community.

 

Image retrieved from Flickr.