How Toxic Masculinity Fails Black Boys

Rashawn Raysor/Staff Writer

On May 11, American rapper Boosie Badazz held an Instagram Live session where he admitted to paying adult women to have oral sex with his son and nephew who were underaged at the time. Boosie claimed that the motivation behind this was to make sure his child didn’t become gay.

He was quoted saying the following:

“Ask any of my nephews, ask any of them, ask my son. Yeah, when they was 12, 13 they got head. Yeah, that’s how it’s supposed to be… Yes, a grown woman, grown, super grown… checked his ass out. Checked all my nephews out.”

Thankfully, he faced severe backlash for his actions on social media. However, there was a small yet vocal minority of people defending him. I wish I could say that I was surprised, but I’m not. Boosie’s actions represent the ultimate horror that black toxic masculinity can unleash.

Black toxic masculinity is a unique beast that has roots in white supremacy, internalized racism, internalized queerphobia and misogynoir. It’s born out of the humiliation and terror that black men have endured throughout America’s history.

It’s born out of the humiliation and terror that black men have endured throughout America’s history.

In the past, enslaved black men were beaten in front of their wives and children as a form of psychological conditioning. They were whipped, mutilated and castrated. They were forced to endure the pain of having their families sold to different plantations.     

During the era of Jim Crow and segregation, black men were subjected to lynching and police beatings regularly. They couldn’t have businesses that were of equal or greater success to white business owners. They couldn’t own property in the same way white men could, else they were subject to mob violence. 

Is it any wonder that during the Civil Rights movement black men held up signs saying “I am a man?”

It was all but a small portion of a much larger campaign of dehumanization against black people. This history of very targeted and purposeful emasculation has led to an intense overcorrection among black men. It leads to distorted ideas about what it means to be a man.

It leads to all things feminine being feared and devalued. It leads to women being devalued. Emotional availability and vulnerability are devalued due to their association with the feminine. Sex is misconstrued into something about triumph and conquest instead of being about intimacy. It becomes a badge of honor to be sought after as quickly as possible. 

Thoughts that deviate from this way of thinking are viewed as feminine and thus must not come to roost in the black boys’ minds. No femininity must lurk in black boys’ minds lest they continue to be humiliated and robbed of their masculinity. And thus, homosexuality or anything even remotely close to it cannot be tolerated, unless the black man be destroyed.   

They’re all part of the same mindset: a mindset that ultimately destroys black boys.

Ultimately it is fear that is at the root of black toxic masculinity. A fear of the continuous denial of one’s masculinity and humanity. A fear of continued and worsened oppression. A fear of weakness and helplessness.

It’s the same fear my parents had and possibly still have to this day.

There’s a sharp, clear memory I have of a talk I had with my father a few years ago. I was in the kitchen—either playing my Nintendo 3DS or reading something—and he came up beside me and asked a question.

“Son, what does homophobic mean?” he said.

I was a bit puzzled by his question. I had some suspicions as to why he was asking me this all of a sudden. My father was and still is very religious, after all. But for some reason, I naively thought that maybe my Dad was just trying to educate himself on social issues. And so, I readily told him what homophobic meant.

“Ohhhh ok, well I’m homophobic n*gga,” he said.

He then threatened that he’d severely beat me if I ever said I was gay. I have to admit that I was more than taken aback by his statement—I was horrified.

While growing up my parents would ask me, “are you sure you’re into girls?” or “are there any girls in school you like?” on multiple occasions. This was in spite of the fact that they knew about some of the girls I had crushes on. They stopped asking after a while, but the damage was already done. 

But I know they couldn’t see that damage.

In their minds, they were doing their duty as good parents. They were making sure I turned out “right.” That I wouldn’t be damned to hell. That I’d grow up to be a “real man.” I’m sure that’s what Boosie thought too. My parents would never do something like he did, but they’re all part of the same mindset: a mindset that ultimately destroys black boys.  

Boosie is a disgusting human being who willfully contributed to the sexual abuse of his child. All who defend him are those willing to excuse child molestation because of homophobia. It is the failure of black men for perpetuating this strain of toxic masculinity and the failure of white America for crafting the conditions under which it could flourish.

Black boys deserve to be able to be just boys. They deserve to grow into men in their own time. They deserve the right to explore their sexuality however they choose, so long as it’s healthy. They deserve to love who they want to love. 

They deserve better. 

Featured image by Rod Waddington on Flickr.

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