Last Year’s Lockdown Changed Me For The Better

Nicole Ardila/Staff Writer

This article is a part of PantherNow’s opinion section “Pandemic and Me”  series

The past year has been a mental health rollercoaster, but it allowed me to become the best version of myself.

I began the year of 2020 as a high school senior, eager to go on my New York senior class trip, attend my first ever prom, and most importantly, wear my cap and gown for graduation. Throughout the four years of high school, the Class of 2020 was prideful and confident that 2020 was going to be the best year; we felt invincible as if we were the initiation of a new era.

Ironically, the pandemic brought all that to a halt and began a brand new era in our lives. 

In April, I was lucky enough to celebrate my birthday just when everything had shut down. As a teenager, it sucked, but thankfully I had a couple of great friends that showed up at my house, making me feel better. Only, it made me realize how this lockdown was changing many of our relationships and started to drift many of our friends apart, making us feel alone. 

I had to accept the fact that this was the way life was going to be for a while now, isolated at home with a lot of time to bond with myself. I started to learn more about my spirituality, perspectives, goals and passions. By cutting off toxic “friends” with negative energy, I became a whole new person just by realizing my worth, gaining confidence and self-love. I’ve never been more happy and positive in my life.

However, as we’re all aware, there were many ups and downs last year, and it was like every month there was a new situation happening, making it difficult to maintain that positivity.

Before 2020, I’ve never cared for politics, I just went along with what everyone else was saying. But with all of America’s dilemmas last year, I did more of my own research. Last year, I became more open-minded and listened to opposing opinions, which woke me up to a brand new perspective of society. 

This made me feel alone in the sense where I didn’t see eye to eye with most of my friends and people my age. My new mentality helped me meet like-minded people and create new friends, however, it’s also changed several relationships I had with people. It added the feeling of alienation on top of the lockdown isolation. 

Entering FIU virtually as a freshman was also discouraging. 

I knew absolutely nobody and was going to classes without having to step a foot out of my bedroom. I was starting fresh, a brand new chapter in my life which everyone told me was going to be the time of my life. Yet, for my first year of college, I stared at my computer every day and didn’t get to meet my classmates and new people as I had looked forward to. 

It honestly felt depressing, and with a new situation going on each month, it felt like there was no way we’d be able to go back on campus anytime soon. 

My escape during quarantine was the job I had at a restaurant last year. With that, I got to socialize with coworkers and customers in-person and save up money, which ended up serving me well in the long-run.

Back in March, I created a vision board and pasted images of the things I wanted to have, see or accomplish this year or near future. Just to give you a visualization, some photos included were a passport, a red car, journalists, magazines that inspire me, a photo gallery, workout motivation and money of course. 

Thanks to that visualization, this year I’ve worked and saved up to buy my first camera, laptop, and car, just like the one on my vision board. I have also designed and created my own photography portfolio website, signed up for a gym membership and work out daily, and joined FIU’s PantherNOW which is a step towards beginning my journalism career. 

The purpose of this isn’t to flaunt, but to point out that even during these challenging times, you can always make something positive out of a negative situation. I blocked out the negativity and pushed myself to accomplish a few goals I had set at the beginning of the year.

The pandemic has taught me so much about myself and pushed me to become more productive, independent and focused. 

Despite all the losses, struggles, conflicts and mental breakdowns this past year, I’ve never been more proud of the hard work I went through to become who I am today.

If you would like to share your pandemic story with us please contact: gabriela.enamorado@fiusm.com

DISCLAIMER:

The opinions presented within this page do not represent the views of PantherNOW Editorial Board. These views are separate from editorials and reflect individual perspectives of contributing writers and/or members of the University community.