Misogynistic attitudes equal dry spells

Image by Eric Parker via Flickr

Samantha Smith | Staff Writer

opinion@fiusm.com

This may come as a shock, but there are women out there whose main goal in life is not to squeeze out as many offspring as possible. Not only does the mentality of the “first comes love, then comes marriage” nursery rhyme being sung by men of this generation exclude swaths of couples who cannot get pregnant and push heteronormativity, but it excludes those who simply don’t want to have children.

It also might be surprising to hear that marriage is not the end goal of everyone, ever, period—the fact that people have one night stands and short, casual relationships is evidence of that. Sometimes people want to have human contact, and yes, sex, with others without necessarily having a deep and abiding relationship with them. It’s called dating. And dating—which is open for all genders and not controlled by men as some may seem to think—is often used to find what people do and don’t like about other people in reference to themselves.

Dating isn’t “free sex;” it is testing the waters and having a good time. Just because people don’t have to jump through as many hoops in order to be in a relationship with someone does not mean that their relationship means less, and what is called “courting” does not necessarily make a relationship mean more. The scenario of picking someone up at their parent’s house and having an awkward experience is, frankly, trivial and childishly silly and from a canned John Hughes high-school-movie script—oh, wait, he wrote about one night stands and the issue of prude vs. slut better than some of the pieces I’ve read recently.

Most women don’t hit menopause until they are 51 years of age, so any claim of the “biological clock” of women being shorter than that of men is moot. Let people have fun while they are young, let them take their time when they want to, and don’t pressure people into a kind of relationship they may not be ready for.

Those who spew out that society is the evil force that shames women for not being “prudish,” as if they are not a part of that society, and it is fairly obvious from their beliefs that they think themselves above the institution, most certainly are. The current perception of women and relationships is so skewed that I would be surprised if those who think women should wait and abstain from sex have ever been in contact with either. Moreover, the buzzwords “chivalry,” “court” and “gentleman” that are used indicates that they believe in traditional ways that no longer apply to life as we know it. They are in love with the idea of a classy lady and think that imposing some self-made definition of what that is will help them get laid. Trust me, buddy, if you don’t take my advice, you’re in for a hell of a dry spell.